K1Netic Intro thread

    This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse this site, you are agreeing to our Cookie Policy.

    Dear users,

    please note that we have a new forum now. You'll find it here.

    The old forum is set to read-only mode now.

    Your Ikariam Team

    • I meant that in a bad way like "YOU MUST BE JOKING!"
      Leader of UE Psi Retired Undefeated

      Leader of ELITE Apollon Retired Undefeated

      Former member of N-F but now in TMM, Rho.

      Member and sometimes Saxy General of _UE_, Demeters

      Allianceless in Pi.

      BLACK in Gaia.

      Leader of -W- in Hades

      Democratically Elected Chairman of Men Power Council (MPC) in spam section.

      The shit has sailed already!
    • Back in Camelot, Arthur is going out on a quest, but he wants to make sure Guinevere stays true to him so he gets a chastity belt for her. However he kniws he can't take the key with him in case he dies or there's an emergency so after a long time he decides to entrust Lancelot with the key. So as rthur begins riding out to his quest, he sees Lancelot racing from the castle towards him so a worried Arthur, believing a grave emergency has come up asks, "Lancelot? Is there something wrong? Is Guinevere alright?"
      Lancelot replies, "Everything is alright, your majesty, but you gave me the wrong key."


      I don't play any servers anymore, I'm just here for the spam and
      :xeno: :xeno: :xeno:




      badidol wrote:

      Dammit, this thing dies darned slowly.




      badidol wrote:

      Go and check the permissions the Facebook app wants, I dare you

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Kaleg Nar ().

    • So Tom is sitting in his chair, reading the paper, and watching the football game when little Johnny comes up to him and says, "Hey, Dad, I think you're going to die."
      Tom looks at little Johnny, gives him a pat on the head, and replies, "What makes you think that"
      "Well," says little Johnny, "it's because of a pattern. A while ago I remember having a feeling Aunt Catherine was going to die and the next day she had that massive heart attack. Then another time I had a feeling grandma was going to die and she got hit by that meteor the next day. Now I have a feeling my dad's going to die."
      While he's worried, Tom comforts Johnny by saying he's not going to die any time soon, but has a restless and worried sleep. When the next morning comes around he thinks Booyah I'm alive. Take that you child curse. and goes to get the newspaper only to find out the mailman is dead.


      I don't play any servers anymore, I'm just here for the spam and
      :xeno: :xeno: :xeno:




      badidol wrote:

      Dammit, this thing dies darned slowly.




      badidol wrote:

      Go and check the permissions the Facebook app wants, I dare you
    • I've put invisible text to explain some of them.
      _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

      A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head decide to have a hunting contest.

      The brunette goes first and heads into the woods. Once she's in the woods she find some tracks so she follows the tracks, follows the tracks, follows the tracks and BANG, shoots and deer and bags it.

      The red-head is second and heads into the woods. There she finds some tracks so she follows the tracks, follows the tracks, follows the tracks and BANG, shoots a bear and bags it.

      The blonde is last so she heads out to the woods. There she happens upon some tracks so she follows the tracks, follows the tracks, follows the tracks and BANG, get hits by a train and dies.

      _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

      A Russian and Czech scientists are doing research in the woods when two bears, a male and a femlae, come into their campsite and eat them. When the park rangers learn about this they head out to find the offending bears and while out, they find one of the bears and shoot it. Upon further examination it's apparent the bear is the female and after opening her up, they find the Russian in her. So one park ranger turns to another and says, "You know what this means, don't you? The Czech is in the male." *The check is in the mail.*

      _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

      One atom say to another, "I think I lost an electron."
      The second asks, "Are you sure?"
      The first replies, "I'm positive."

      _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


      A zoologist is travelling throuh Africa when he hears a tale about a bay where the porpoises apparently live forever. As he is told, it's because they eat young seagulls. Readying for an expedition, he buys some cages with young gulls and heads out into the jungle to reach the bay. As he's travelling through the jungle with his porters, a sleeping lion is resting on the path. While the porters are too afraid to go past the lion, the zoologist takes the crates and steps over the lion. A little further he smells the ocean and races towards where the beach must be when he gets stopped by a cop with a thick Irish accent who says, "You're under arrest."
      "For what?" asks the zoologist.
      In the thick Irish accent the cop replies, "You are charged with transporting young gulls over sedate lions for immortal porpoises." *It works better verbally, but when said correctly it sounds like "You are charged with transporting young girls over the state lines for immoral purposes." which was a felony back in the day.*


      _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

      What do you call a cow with three legs? Tri-tip.

      What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean meat.

      What do you a call with one leg? Steak. *Stake.*

      What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

      What do you call a cow that tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction. *Utter*

      _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

      A pony walks into a doctor's office and asks the doctor, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I can barely talk."
      The doctor replies, "I think the problem is that you're a little horse." *hoarse.*

      _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

      Riddle: You're in a room with now windows or doors and have to get out. All you have is a mirror and a table. What do you do?
      Answer: Look in the mirror, see what you saw, cut the table in half, two halves make a hole *whole* and you get out.

      _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

      Last one for now.

      Why are firetrucks red?
      Answer: Two plus two equals four. Four times three equals twelve. Twelve inches is a ruler. A famous ruler was Queen Elizabether. The Queen Elizabeth sails the sea. The sea has fish. Fish have fins. The Finns fought the Russians. Russians are red and firetrucks are always rushin'.


      I don't play any servers anymore, I'm just here for the spam and
      :xeno: :xeno: :xeno:




      badidol wrote:

      Dammit, this thing dies darned slowly.




      badidol wrote:

      Go and check the permissions the Facebook app wants, I dare you

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Kaleg Nar ().

    • A boy once asked his mom,

      Boy : Mom! why does Aunt Marie calls her son diamonds?
      Mom : Because she loves diamonds.
      Boy : What do you like Mom?
      Mom : Shut up Dick.
      Leader of UE Psi Retired Undefeated

      Leader of ELITE Apollon Retired Undefeated

      Former member of N-F but now in TMM, Rho.

      Member and sometimes Saxy General of _UE_, Demeters

      Allianceless in Pi.

      BLACK in Gaia.

      Leader of -W- in Hades

      Democratically Elected Chairman of Men Power Council (MPC) in spam section.

      The shit has sailed already!

      The post was edited 1 time, last by hotdog ().

    • didier wrote:

      the joke with irish accent is impossible to figured out without the cues

      I figured. But here are two more like that. Though with the 'bags' were you thinking of Welsh-sheep relations?


      First one


      There's a conservations of R's in the United States. Every time a Bostonian pahks the cah in the Hahvahd yahd, there's a Souther warshing his winnders. *Bostonians are known for dropping R's so it's their accent for "parks the car in the Harvard yard" and the Southerners are known for their drawl and it's the way of saying "washing his windows."


      A Canadian is having their friend from Scotland over and they're driving down the highway one night when a large animal runs across the road. The Scotsman asks, "What was that?"
      "A moose." replies the Canadian.
      "A moose?" says the Scotsman, "If that was a moose then I'm glad we dinnae see one of your rahts." *Said right, 'moose' sounds like someone saying 'mouse' with a bit too much 'oooo' sound and with 'raht' it's 'rat' with a softer 'a'.


      Last word for now.

      Tom: How do you spell 'fɔ:? *I'm using phonetic script for "four, for, and fore".*
      Bill: Well could you use it in a sentence?
      Tome: Sure, Bill. For safety the golfer called fore on hole four.


      I don't play any servers anymore, I'm just here for the spam and
      :xeno: :xeno: :xeno:




      badidol wrote:

      Dammit, this thing dies darned slowly.




      badidol wrote:

      Go and check the permissions the Facebook app wants, I dare you
    • I got a good joke...

      Once a fool was talking to another,

      Fool 1 : Once a bus went over me.
      Fool2 : O! What happened than?
      Fool1 : Thank God there was a bridge above me, otherwise I had died.
      Leader of UE Psi Retired Undefeated

      Leader of ELITE Apollon Retired Undefeated

      Former member of N-F but now in TMM, Rho.

      Member and sometimes Saxy General of _UE_, Demeters

      Allianceless in Pi.

      BLACK in Gaia.

      Leader of -W- in Hades

      Democratically Elected Chairman of Men Power Council (MPC) in spam section.

      The shit has sailed already!
    • Anti-joke time.


      Bill: Want to hear a joke?
      Joe: Yeah.
      Bill: So would I.


      Bill: Why did Joe drop his ice cream?
      Tom: Why?
      Bill: He was hit by the bus that went over Fool1.

      A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

      A priest, an imman, and a rabbi all walk into a (salad) bar. The staff admires such a diverse group.

      Bill: What do you call a man with no arms or legs?
      Jorge: What?
      Bill: Whatever his name happens to be.

      Bill: What do you call a dog with no legs?
      Jim: What?
      Bill: It doesn't matter. He ain't coming.

      Bill: What's worst than a worm in your apple?
      Timothy: What?
      Bill: Murder.

      A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head walk into a bar. They order drinks, have a nice time, and leave.


      I don't play any servers anymore, I'm just here for the spam and
      :xeno: :xeno: :xeno:




      badidol wrote:

      Dammit, this thing dies darned slowly.




      badidol wrote:

      Go and check the permissions the Facebook app wants, I dare you

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Kaleg Nar ().