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    • John and his wife are driving when they get pulled over by a cop.

      Cop says, "Sir, did you know you were going 80 in a 50?"
      John replies, "No sir. My odometer said I was doing 45."
      His wife scoffs and says, "You know that ain't true. You were even hoping you'd outrace this cop."

      The writes a speeding ticket and then says, "By the way, your tailight is also out."
      "Must've happened on this road since it was working fine last night." replies John.
      His wife scoffs, "Oh you know that's not true, John. It's been out for weeks and you refuse to get it fixed."

      John's grumbling as the cop writes a citation for that and then says, "And sir, I notice your seatbelt isn't on either."
      John says, "I took it off after you pulled us over to be more comfortable."
      His wife scoffs yet again and says, "Oh boy your pants are on fire, John. I've never seen you wearing that thing."
      John turns to his wife and shouts, "Would you SHUT UP, woman!"
      The cop turns the wife and asks, "Before I write the seatbelt citation, is he always like this to you, ma'am?"
      The wife replies, "Only when he's been drinking."

      I don't play any servers anymore, I'm just here for the spam and
      :xeno: :xeno: :xeno:

      badidol wrote:

      Dammit, this thing dies darned slowly.

      badidol wrote:

      Go and check the permissions the Facebook app wants, I dare you